heau

Focus man.

In Uncategorized on July 9, 2010 at 9:34 pm

Dude, being ^Twenty is really sucking for me. A lot o pressure and responsabilities which I am not taking care of to make it worse. Ontop of that all I do is complain instead of doing something about it. People making it harder tthan it is, we’re living in a hateful world and if your sitiuation is good you should be thankful. You did it, pat yourself in the back. I need to stop looking towards the future too much and look at the present.

When something hits me that makes me scared in relation to the world I repress it and comfort myself. I’m too comfortable not doing anything. There’s so much to do and i can’t get myself to do these things. Im impatient, i rush things, I go from one thought to another with no focus.

Pace yourself fellow dude,i need to encourage myself like i did just now. What messes me up the most is knowwing that i did this, I messed things up. I read a quote somewhere that said you should never forgive yourself, even if i try I can’t i dont want to try. I might be able to someday but now I’m numb. There are times I shed tears sometimes I laugh but its not the same. This world messes with our emotions, its a rollercoaster and im not sure to strap myself in until i know its my theme park.

Frustrated I have ideas and dreams but can’t focus, and llike I said there are always people that want to mess things up, I guess I need to be stronger. Yes I try, sometimes I might slack off but anyone can do it, well in my opinion. What i would like is to be successful and happy without hurting other people. What’s wrong with me! It’s everything is twisted up. What I need is a release. Cannot focus, everything goes through my mind like I can’t breathe. Makes me want to everything and shout cry punch a cat in the face.

Put my energy into something is what i should do, it’s all bottled up inside. Everything not just one thing, its everything. What I need to do is be persistent. Either im making myself feel trapped or angry, sometimes I scare myself because I know I won’t hurt another human being unless im provoked, and it would take alot to provoke me. Meditate and take a bream fellow dude, be you, express yourself.

Stay on your toes.

Heau.

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