Its easier to be horrible, but sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes its hard to be nice, but sometimes it eassy. What do i want? I want to be the best person I can be. Tough and funny and a little bit kind: that is as near to perfection as a human being can be. ~Mignon McLaughlin
I’m 20, no 21 since it is my b-day. I have no job, no money, no girlfriend, no car, no drivers license, no sense of what I want to do. Everything was better when I was growing up, no worries about anything. Now the pressure is on and it only pushes me down harder, I push back but nothing has been accomplished so far. But heres where my idea comes in, why cant everyone just be independent, no taxes, grow your own farms, make your own stuff, trade, start off how we all first lived and let it all happen again since of course people will get violent for land and whatnot. We havent came that far. Start from scratch. But then again mayve somehow it is more balanced, here in the US. Other places in the world are horrible. Are we scared that if we go “soft” someone worse will come along? People want comfort, protection, money, food,
i get inspired or excited about something but it goes away, so nothing is done about my ideas or whatever I want to persure.
Yesterday was different than other Saturdays because my cousin came over. She has a couple kids, her daughter could have been cuter if she didnt look so much like her, shes not ugly though. Well she brought a dude over… I was like what the fuck?! Why is she going to bring a dude over when she can wait for tomorrow to see this “friend” of hers. She has a bf or husband/baby daddy that recently went to prison. I went out to see what was up and he was in the restroom. SHe said something to me about her friend blah blah I didnt really pay attention then she went on to ask me if I sleep? Right then and there I was like what the fuck… does she want me sleeping so that dude can rape me in my sleep or do something to me or my brothers in their sleep or steal something, IDK alot of shit wnet through my mind. I told her it was Sat. and its only 1:30 am. Im watching Inuyasha . And now her and her buddy are int he garage doing who knows what. That keeps going through my head though, “que no duermes?” “Dont you sleep?” Why do I jump to these conclusions? shit I dont know. Is it possible? Anythings possible in this world. Good and bad. All I think about is if that were the case that she brought this dude or if other people come over to carry out somekind of action while I or we’re sleeping, why? for what? What would be the point? Power? Learning, but why not tell me or us. Idk i just wouldnt want to be some kind of cum bucket or glory hole or something. FUKC THAT.